


Psalm 88

by PontiusHermes



Series: Surely Goodness and Mercy [3]
Category: Christian Bible
Genre: Angel Wings, Angst, Archangels, Darkness, Exile, Fallen Angels, Gen, Hell, Loneliness, Mercy - Freeform, Pain, Religious text, Sad, Sadness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-15
Updated: 2016-02-15
Packaged: 2018-05-20 18:48:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6021019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PontiusHermes/pseuds/PontiusHermes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The early thoughts of Lucifer in Hell set to psalm 88.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Psalm 88

Lucifer sat hunched, his large, bat-like wings wrapped around himself. Tears dripped through his fingers, pooling on the stone of the cavern floor. He felt as if he had been in that lightless prison for years, but time had no meaning here -- it could have been mere hours…

  _Lord, you are the God who saves me;_

_day and night I cry out to you._

_May my prayer come before you;_

_turn your ear to my cry…_  

But his Father was not listening, this Lucifer knew. Lucifer knew too that it was not that his Father could not hear him. It was, infinitely more painful, that he was not listening. There was nothing he wanted to hear from his once beloved son. No repentance, no pleas for forgiveness. Lucifer had once ceased to hear his Father's voice, and now his Father would cease to hear him… 

_I am overwhelmed with troubles_

_and my life draws near to death._

_I am counted among those who go down to the pit;_

_I am like one without strength…_  

It was true. Not so much that his body was weak, although it was, a little. No, it was not his body so much as his soul, which twisted and buckled under the weights of shame and anger and loneliness. His soul which, heavy as the dark rock surrounding him, refused to move, refused to fill and run over with light and life as it had once. Once… 

_I am set apart with the dead,_

_like the slain who lie in the grave,_

_whom you remember no more,_

_who are cut off from your care…_  

Dead to his Father and dead to his brothers. Exiled to this hole where they could forget about him, pretend he didn't exist, had never existed. Did they, up there all together, ever think about him, remember him with a tiny, sad smile. Were their memories of him laced with anger and disappointment? Or were there no memories? Maybe the heavens had forgotten about him, Lucifer, the Morningstar…

  _You have put me in the lowest pit,_

_in the darkest depths._

_Your wrath lies heavily on me;_

_you have overwhelmed me with all your waves…_  

No stars. There were no stars in the cavern, only an expanse of dark, suffocating rock, pressing down until Lucifer hid his head in his wings and cried for mercy. His sobs bounced eerily back to him, echoing harshly from the rocks and showering over him from above, a melancholy chorus. Never had he been so cold, or so far away from his Father or brothers… 

_You have taken from me my closest friends_

_and have made me repulsive to them._

_I am confined and cannot escape;_

_my eyes are dim with grief…_  

He had tried to escape, firstly trying to climb when his wings hurt too much to fly, and then attempting with his twisted, blackened wings. However high he flew, there was no light, only towering dark walls and a roof too high to see. There were no ledges on which to stop and rest, and when he tried to hold onto the rock, jagged points tore at his hands so they hurt near as much as his heart, and eventually he fell to the bottom again. Down and down… 

_I call to you, Lord, every day;_

_I spread out my hands to you._

_Do you show your wonders to the dead?_

_Do their spirits rise up and praise you?_  

No touch of his father existed here. No light, no love, no mercy. The Morningstar kept himself wrapped in his bat-like wings for comfort and warmth, neither of which he properly found. The wings were just another reminder of his shame. They had once been feathery, soft and white, strong but gentle. And now they were as the rest of him was -- damaged, twisted, burned and blackened. Monstrous. He could not belong in heaven, not now, not anymore… 

_Is your love declared in the grave,_

_your faithfulness in Destruction?_

_Are your wonders known in the place of darkness,_

_or your righteous deeds in the land of oblivion?_  

Unaccustomed near-silence pressed upon Lucifer's skull until it ached with the pressure of nothingness. It was then that Lucifer tried shouting, screaming, making sound so he might not hear nothing. His voice soon became raw, but between the jagged walls of his prison a shout was a whisper and a whisper was nothing and nothing meant he was truly alone… 

_But I cry to you for help, Lord;_

_in the morning my prayer comes before you._

_Why, Lord, do you reject me_

_and hide your face from me?_  

He was alone and he was cold. And his brothers were far above and away. And his Father would not listen when he cried to him for forgiveness. And he could have been the only being in existence, down in the darkness of the pit. And there was no softness and no light and no mercy. And again the beautiful Lucifer wept. 

_From my youth I have suffered and been close to death;_

_I have borne your terrors and am in despair._

_Your wrath has swept over me;_

_your terrors have destroyed me._..

Curled on the cold floor of the cavern, wings over his head, sobbing, Lucifer was not sure what he was or what he should do.  He was no longer an angel, he was sure his Father no longer saw him as a son. He no longer had a son's duty. There was no need to do what was 'right,' what was 'good.' This godless pit could become a refuge, far from the watchful eyes and righteous hearts of his Father and brothers. Possibilities opened like blackened blooms, and for the first time in that timeless pit Lucifer smiled…

_All day long they surround me like a flood;_

_they have completely engulfed me._

_You have taken from me friend and neighbour—_

_darkness is my closest friend._

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading.
> 
> Pontius


End file.
